Hey
there. TC speaking. I’ve always found it incredible how one person’s event can
bring about adjustments in another person’s life.
My bestie has a beau. I will use that word because I hate
“boo” and “boo thang”.
It happened all of a sudden, and truth be told, I was
hurt.
Not because she “had one” but because she was acting all secret squirrel
as to how close they were getting.
I mean, I would ask about their convos from
time to time, but she never straight out said, “TC I’m fallin’ for this dude.”
Yeah, I know my romance situation is more sour than Sour
Patches but I still didn’t think she had to withhold the feel good of her
companionship. I dunno … it just put me out of sorts. I even thought there was
something wrong with me. I needed another ear so I spoke with a more objective
party.
Love makes everything—even raw sewage—smell like some high
end perfume. Even the most objective of people don’t seem as such anymore when the magical "L" word enters the picture. The
bestie usually served as the logical compass, but I couldn’t rely on her
navigation for this.
Once the more objective party told me it was okay to feel
all of these feelings, without really putting a stamp on right and wrong, it
helped some.
I don’t want to put a damper on the Bestie getting her “lovey dovey
on”. I’m not really a good “extra wheel”, even if my presence has a purpose. It
would be just my luck that a certain thing happens that triggers my personal
b.s. and then it’d just be a wrap.
Then, the light bulb hit. I had to “get my own life” if you
will. Yes, I am primarily a loner—having the ability to go places on my own
without companionship. Yet, there are locations where I feel a bit awkward
unless someone else is with me. Plus, I did wonder if there were any local
people that I could connect with—who were interested in getting to know
me—whether I was coupled or not.
Typically, I tended to have male friends but the years have
taught me that not everyone’s philosophy on male friendship is the same. In
addition, my current woes might be a complication that I’m unsure if I can
explain clearly without the message being misconstrued. How many people really
read, and out of those who still do, how many truly comprehend? I find that
number getting smaller and smaller every day.
After this epiphany, I was in my email and noticed there
were some messages on the site I signed up for three months ago, so I logged on
and saw four messages. Two were from a male and two were from a female.
When I see a message, I do take the time to read it, and
upon reading it, decide if I want to continue any conversation. It’s hard to
gauge “yes” or “no” if all the person says is “hello”. Yet, in my attempt to
being more open (read: not let my cynicism get in the way), I replied back to
all except one, simply because some of the language suggested his intentions
were not really on friendship.
I didn’t see a lot of action on that particular website.
Exploring my options seemed to be a good way to go. I signed up for this
women’s only website. The only difference is that using the information I put
in (interests) along with my actual profile, they come up with something they
call “Fast Match” and you get to decide “Yes” or “No”.
A lot of “Fast Matches” have been sent my way, but before I
even hit a button, I open up one’s full profile to read the specifics. With
some people, the website is “on point” and with others “wtf” were they
thinking.
So … two websites … one goal. Anything can happen.
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