Make Like a Ghost and Disappear (aka #GetChoLife)

Hey there. TC speaking. I’ve always found it incredible how one person’s event can bring about adjustments in another person’s life.

My bestie has a beau. I will use that word because I hate “boo” and “boo thang”. 

It happened all of a sudden, and truth be told, I was hurt. 

Not because she “had one” but because she was acting all secret squirrel as to how close they were getting. 

I mean, I would ask about their convos from time to time, but she never straight out said, “TC I’m fallin’ for this dude.”

Yeah, I know my romance situation is more sour than Sour Patches but I still didn’t think she had to withhold the feel good of her companionship. I dunno … it just put me out of sorts. I even thought there was something wrong with me. I needed another ear so I spoke with a more objective party.

Love makes everything—even raw sewage—smell like some high end perfume. Even the most objective of people don’t seem as such anymore when the magical "L" word enters the picture. The bestie usually served as the logical compass, but I couldn’t rely on her navigation for this.

Once the more objective party told me it was okay to feel all of these feelings, without really putting a stamp on right and wrong, it helped some.

I don’t want to put a damper on the Bestie getting her “lovey dovey on”. I’m not really a good “extra wheel”, even if my presence has a purpose. It would be just my luck that a certain thing happens that triggers my personal b.s. and then it’d just be a wrap.

Then, the light bulb hit. I had to “get my own life” if you will. Yes, I am primarily a loner—having the ability to go places on my own without companionship. Yet, there are locations where I feel a bit awkward unless someone else is with me. Plus, I did wonder if there were any local people that I could connect with—who were interested in getting to know me—whether I was coupled or not.

Typically, I tended to have male friends but the years have taught me that not everyone’s philosophy on male friendship is the same. In addition, my current woes might be a complication that I’m unsure if I can explain clearly without the message being misconstrued. How many people really read, and out of those who still do, how many truly comprehend? I find that number getting smaller and smaller every day.

After this epiphany, I was in my email and noticed there were some messages on the site I signed up for three months ago, so I logged on and saw four messages. Two were from a male and two were from a female.

When I see a message, I do take the time to read it, and upon reading it, decide if I want to continue any conversation. It’s hard to gauge “yes” or “no” if all the person says is “hello”. Yet, in my attempt to being more open (read: not let my cynicism get in the way), I replied back to all except one, simply because some of the language suggested his intentions were not really on friendship.

I didn’t see a lot of action on that particular website. Exploring my options seemed to be a good way to go. I signed up for this women’s only website. The only difference is that using the information I put in (interests) along with my actual profile, they come up with something they call “Fast Match” and you get to decide “Yes” or “No”.

A lot of “Fast Matches” have been sent my way, but before I even hit a button, I open up one’s full profile to read the specifics. With some people, the website is “on point” and with others “wtf” were they thinking.

So … two websites … one goal. Anything can happen.

Boredom and Technology Don't Mix

My name is TC and I'd like to share a story with you. Most people, when they get bored, look at television. Perhaps, listen to some music. Some, even read a book.

Well, on the day I got bored, I turned on my laptop, landed on Google and typed in "free websites for friendship".

Of course, in a matter of seconds, hundreds of hits were generated. But seriously, how many people actually go beyond page one. We think that the first listings you see will have some of the best stuff. So ... I went with the one that was straight and to the point.

Now, I won't reveal the actual name of the site, because I don't want to be a person that's like, "Yes, this is the best site ever", only to have someone blame me for their crappy experience. I don't want the flip side either: where I don't recommend it and someone finds exactly what they were seeking.

I went through the steps of signing up: crafting a profile, putting up a picture (no Catfishing ... I'm just using the Bitmoji on this blog because it is fun) and checking off my likes. The major thing I don't like about checking off likes and such is that you don't get a chance to pick whether it's something you "seldom do", "occasionally do", or "often do".

I often spend time in the park.

I occasionally go shopping.

I seldom go to the casino.

However, on the site, it will list "outdoors", "shopping", and "gambling". It wouldn't be honest if I didn't check these off because I have done these things, but it doesn't allow a whole lot of flexibility in the frequency.

Sure, I could state this on my "About" section for clarification, but it would almost be like me repeating myself. If someone really cares that much, then one could send me a message through their interface.

After I went through all of the trouble and reached out to a few people whose information was interesting, I successfully flushed out my boredom and became rather sleepy. I shut down my computer and fell asleep, but did not return to my boredom fix until a little over three months later.